Honey, let's get married...

Recently I have started picking up Mid Day (the tabloid published from Mumbai) on my way to work. It's a really good newspaper with loads of information, news, tips etc.

There's a particular section in it called "Dear Diana" which is basically an 'agony aunt' column though I have my doubts if we can call 'Diana' an aunt. She seems quite a young person.

Anyways, many people write to her with all kinds of problems - marital, love, sex, relationships etc etc etc. I happen to read the column everyday and I must admit that like most other 'normal' human beings, I do enjoy reading about other people's problems and even smiling at times. Some of the letters that are published are outright hilarious, some seem to be cock and bull stories, some make you think about the sorry state of the lives of the people who wrote them, some make you cringe when you try to imagine yourself in that person's shoes. Some people write about all kinds of ultra stupid stuff.

For example, a few days back I read a letter sent by some girl called 'M' from Mumbai. Here's the extract from her letter.

Dear Diana,

I am a 28 year old girl who is being compelled to get married but I have no choice. I am very scared of sex because I've heard that it's very painful. Is the pain bearable? Can we both live together without sex? I don't know what to do.

With due respect to the lady in question, I would tell her, honey, you are God's gift to gay guys like us. Please find more girls like you who are 'scared' of sex and want to get into a marriage but stay away from sex. Believe me dahling, you'll be regarded highly by us. Most gay guys are tormented by their families for getting married. If we can find a girl like you, it'll be great. I am not being insensitive here. You will be our greatest friend, our most favorite house'hag'. We can give you tips on make up, fashion. We won't criticize you for nothing, we wouldn't be cynical like the straight men. So please, ladies, please help us. You'll love us as your husbands.

Isn't this just wonderful, guys? Just think about the life where you can get married to a girl but don't have to have sex with her, mostly because she doesn't want it at all. :-) Wouldn't it be great to settle down finally like the so called 'normal' guys? If you're pestered to beget a child, no worries. Nowadays there are 101 options to get a child without ever having sex with your conjugal partner. Let's all pray that we find one such girl. :-)

The Great Indian 'Dysfuntional' family...

I have been staying away from my family for the last eight years now. I was brought up in Kolkata and completed my 12th from there. After that, I left them to pursue my graduation elsewhere. During graduation too, I hardly spent much time with them except on holidays. After graduation was over, I had hardly spent a month with them when again I had to pack my bags and join the company in which I am working currently.

I have been through a great deal over the last eight years. The past eight years have enriched my life in more ways than one. They have taught me to take care of myself. They have taught me to take care of my finances, to be able to choose between the right and wrong without any parental guidance, to be able to differentiate good people from the not so good without being told. It's been a learning experience all through. First in the college hostel - getting to interact with people from different regions / backgrounds having a varied range of tastes and likings. Later after my graduation was over, I have loved to stay on my own. I have begun to like the independence that I have been getting over these years.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that if now, I am expected to stay with my parents, I would be thinking twice before deciding to do that. You may be thinking that I am a moron. After all parents are the people who brought us up, who toiled hard to give us everything we wanted. They are the people who continue to shower unconditional love upon us to this day. They are our best friends. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

I agree. Nothing could be truer than this. But then in the Indian context, an Indian family not only consists of the parents and the kids but also the chacha, chachi, taau, taai, mama, mami, nana, nani, dada, daadi, bua and dozens of cousins. I experienced good as well as bad times growing up with the latter predominating most of the times...

But then, something changed somewhere. By the time I was 13, I started feeling distinctly different from the rest of my cousins / school mates. That was the 'awakening'. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was scared, I was confused but at the same time really excited about the possibility of exploring new unknown things on my own.

Fourteen years have passed and now I can say that I am happy with the way I have grown. I may not have had the best of fortune but I try not to regret anything that I have experienced over the years.

Most of us are quite happy with what life offers us, but suddenly one day, we hear that our parents are looking for some poor girl for us. Eww!!! This is where it starts to get on my nerves. Yet again! They fail to realize that it's our lives that they are talking about and we should be the ones to decide how we choose to live.

There's the father who thinks that his son is good for nothing and that he is always correct about every goddamn thing in the world. Well, honey, not this one! You say that you can tell a person by just looking at him/her. How come you have not noticed that your own son is "big flaming, feather-wearing, man-kissing, disco-dancing, Vermont-living, Christina Aguilera-loving, Mikanos going 'MO'?"

There's the mother who loves his son dearly but she is a tad confused about what she wants for him. She is torn between the son on the one hand and the husband on the other. If she tries to support her husband, the son walks out on her and vice versa. She is always in a soup. They may not see eye to eye on many things but join the chorus in unison when it comes to deciding their child's future. How unbearably pathetic!!! What they fail to realize that some poor girl's life could be ruined in the process.

And then, there's the extended family - the farty uncles, the bitchy aunts, the old hapless grand parents, the nosy cousins. They just need something to gossip about and they couldn't care less if things don't work out in the marriage that they are so excited about. They will come up with news of some NRI guy who came down, tied the knot and flew back with wifey the very next day. They will talk about some 'convent educated' working girl who is apparently very pretty!!! They will give you tips about how to impress girls. The cousins would pester you with questions like - "Do you have a girl friend? BLAH BLAH BLAH"

You can probably now understand why I don't consider it 'safe' to go back and stay with my parents. I don't want to end up getting married to a girl. I do want to get 'married' nevertheless, but to a guy who would love me and whom I would love! I really don't know what is in store for me. One of my younger cousins is getting married this year and I know for sure that after that I am gonna be pestered by my parents to start seeing girls. My God! Even the thought of it gives me goose pimples. Anyways, I just somehow wish that I am able to convince all of them that I am happy being single. And I just pray that somebody makes a pill that I can give to them so that they just forget about getting me married. Amen!

Unforgettable...

Unforgettable, thats what you are

Unforgettable though near or far

Like a song of love that clings to me

How the thought of you does things to me

Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way

And forever more, thats how youll stay

Thats why, darling, its incredible

That someone so unforgettable

Thinks that I am unforgettable too...

Pujo in Kolkata

The Train...

This is one of my most favorite scenes of Satyajit Ray's many films. The film is the first part of a trilogy famous as the "Apu Trilogy".

This scene captures the inquisitiveness of two children about a train that crosses the fields. It is one of the most enchanting scenes ever filmed in Indian cinema.