Monday, August 27, 2007

Love thy neighbor! :-)

I have been staying at this cute little place for almost a year now. It's a row house and I occupy one of the three rooms on the first floor. It's got an attached bath, a balcony, and I have tried to make it feel like home. I have put up blue curtains, got a TV with cable, my PC with broadband, a closet full of my clothes, a soft cushy bed, lots of movie DVD's etc. So much so, that on weekends, I am virtually confined to my room unless it is utmost necessary to go out.

The two other rooms have also been let out too and they are occupied by one guy each. Recently, one of the rooms got vacant and a guy from Delhi called Naveen has moved in. Naveen is a 25 year old chap, cute looking albeit quite stocky. Though I must say that if he shed those extra pounds he could become quite desirable to the already starving Pune gay community.

We spoke a couple of times earlier but were never really 'into' each other! Anyways on Friday evening, this guy knocked on my door and we started talking. I invited him to sit inside. He told me about his job, how he came to Pune, about his family etc. The guy is so damn frustrated that he can actually be a perfect case for study. Much of the frustration is because of his work place. He works for Tech Mahindra and was a Test Lead there. Some manager apparently lured him to Pune promising him an onsite opportunity but that never came. Some other guy was packed off to the UK in his place and as it turned out that he became the most junior resource in his current team. Now, that's a recipe for disaster. That's where it all started. He has lost sleep over this situation. He in fact barely sleeps over 4 hours a day. He doesn't eat much, though I must say that not eating will do him more good. :-) He is technically sound and is quite a nerd so to say, or so I thought until Saturday evening.

He bought a new computer on Friday evening and borrowed a couple of movie DVD's from me. On Saturday morning, as I was about to go for lunch, I knocked on his door and we went out together. Over lunch too, he kept on telling me about his job and all that. I consciously tried to look interested but it wasn't interesting at all. I had to fake interest all the way. I changed the subject and asked him about his personal life, like if he was single / committed. As it turned out he said that he couldn't afford to be committed at the moment because apparently he was too busy concentrating on his career. Talk about lame excuses. But anyway, then he asked me THE question of the day. "Are you a virgin?" I was a little perturbed by the suddenness of that question though I was thoroughly enjoying the direction in which the conversation was moving. I replied "No" thinking to myself "Sweetheart, do you know whom you are talking to?" Anyway after lunch, we went back home and slept through the rest of the afternoon. In the evening around 7 he again came knocking at my door and asked me if I wanted to catch a movie with him. I replied in the affirmative. We went to the closest multiplex but as it turned out the tickets were sold out.

I suggested that we go to have dinner together at this resort "Up & Above", not far from our place. We reached the place and ordered drinks and food. I had two pegs of vodka but this guy wouldn't stop. He kept on drinking and blabbering more about his office politics and his frustration. The conversation quickly moved to his rather flamboyant life in Delhi where he confessed that he had apparently made out thirty five times with all kinds of females - Indian, Israeli, Spanish, American etc etc etc. He boasted about his so called 'contacts' and how the girls were mind blowing. He also told me that during one of his previous trips to Pune, he had slept with some hooker here too. And then, he suggested the most bizarre thing! He told me "Dude, if you ever want to (visualize a hand gesture here), let me know. Let's go together and have some good time..." I simply nodded and smiled. I mean, what am I supposed to do with a female hooker. Play hide and seek? I can't surely be a lesbian. :-(

After dinner, we returned home. He then asked me if we could watch a movie together. We watched RDB together lying on his bed side by side and throughout the movie he was saying that he was willing to pay upto 6K for a night with the firang actress in the movie. Oh. My. God. He was high on spirits. He kept on boasting about how he had nailed a girl in Delhi. He told me that he preferred oral sex because it was good fun. He told me about his trips to some female in Delhi who gave him 'fantastic' blow jobs for 150 rupees. I was smirking and thinking to myself "Honey, what girls can do, I can do better!!" After the movie was over, he put on some porn and insisted that I gave him company through it. I was genuinely uncomfortable with him next to me. And I had to squirm, twist and turn to hide the obvious. Anyway, finally when the movie ended, he had something even more interesting to say...He said "Dude, let's go and bang a chick together tomorrow." I just smiled and dashed for the exit.

The incident was really funny. For the rest of the night I kept thinking that whether he could be told. But then I decided that it was best to keep quiet. On Sunday evening, I was watching Will & Grace. He came and watched it too. It was indeed a good weekend spent. I got to study another specimen of the species up, close and personal. :-)

I am gay because...

Let's talk about something interesting, shall we?

What makes me gay? Let's make this as funny and interesting as possible.

1. I can call anyone "honey" including pets.

2. I understand the immense importance of good lighting especially in photographs!

3. I can be at a crowded disco the size of two football fields and still spot the hottest guy.

4. I can tell a woman that I love her bathing suit, and truly mean her bathing suit.

5. I can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.

6. I really have "been there, done that."

7. My women friends tell me everything I want to know about their boyfriends. And that means everything.

8. I am the only type of male who gets to say "fabulous."

9. I have naked pictures of men I don't know in my home.

10. I can have naked men I don't know in my home.

11. I understand why the good Lord invented spandex.

12. I know how to get back at just about everyone. And have.

13. I can smile to let someone know I can't stand them.

14. I am good pals with women other people can't stand.

15. I know how to dress strategically.

16. I am the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better than I did in high school.

17. You know that sex complicates things. So?

18. I choose the most fabulous greeting cards.

19. I know how to program my DVD player.

20. I've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.

21. I've called someone "girlfriend" who is neither a girl nor a friend.

22. I know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.

23. My favorite dinner accessory is often my dinner companion.

24. I've shaved something other than my face.

25. Unlike most straight women, I have no problem being treated solely as a sex object.