The Big Fat Bong Wedding

I spent the latter half of April in sultry, sweaty and oh-so-terribly-hot-that-I-hated-it Kolkata. Now if you have read my previous posts, you must know already that I have spent a good part of my childhood and adolescence in good ol’ City of Joy. Though I would say that Kolkata in those days was quite different from what it has become now. Or maybe, it was all the same, I was not aware of it. Anyway, whatever the case may be, Kolkata is awful in summers. Period.

The occasion I was in Kolkata for, was my cousin’s wedding. He is a convent school educated bloke who’s so utterly cool that I love him for that. Everything that he says, he does, exudes a special warmth which makes him so very adorable. He married the love of his life after a few years’ (or so I know) of courtship. The bride is a sweetheart. She is one of the most down to earth and effervescent Bong girl that I have met in a long time.

Now, just to digress a little, I tend to find Bong girls a bit too whiny and pretentious not to mention their tendency to become obese! Before you know, the school girl has metamorphosed into the “bhodro mohila”. Eww. There were quite a handful of them in my class in school and I was friends with a quite a few. In fact if you go through my “slam book” from school, you will more entries by Bong girls than anybody else. But even after all that, my outlook towards them remained all the same. They were just too “makey”. I know some of you may differ, some will say that all girls are like that, some will actually bay for my blood after reading this but anyway, as far as I am concerned, I have rarely come across a level headed Bong girl who can even begin to equal Sushmita (The Sen). J Yes, that’s my benchmark as far as Bong girls are concerned. :-)

So, there we were in Kolkata for the wedding. My aunt gave me a lovely “tusser” kurta, the color was a variation of blue, the fabric soft and silky. This was the first time, I was actually supposed to wear an Indian ensemble, complete with “dhoti” and “mojris” and believe me, God knows, I squirm even at the thought of wearing anything ethnic. Anyway, somehow, I convinced myself to wear that. So far so good. But the moment I stepped outside the house, I was sweating like a dog. The heat was unbearable and so was the humidity. It was a recipe for disaster. The wedding was solemnized in an air-conditioned venue, so the discomfort was alleviated a bit. But through the night, I couldn’t close my eyelids even for a minute (after returning from the venue to the bride’s place) because the fabric didn’t let any breeze pass through it and all the gang stayed wide awake “maaroing adda” to the hilt at the top of their voices. By the time morning dawned and we were ready for the “bidaai” I had almost gone crazy with the heat! I swore that I would stay clear of ethnic even if the world was coming to an end. And I would try to avoid visiting Kolkata in the summers as much as the plague.

The “Bou bhaat” (at Midnapore) was a nice affair. Even though the heat was unbearable again, the open air garden attached to the venue provided the much needed relief amidst welcoming the guests and keeping a tab on the received gifts et al. A special thing that I would like to mention is about the “Santhal” dancers who had come all the way from Jhargram to entertain the guests with their tribal dance that has been made so famous worldwide. Thanks to Satyajit Ray’s Agantuk. Their music, the drumbeats, the cymbals, their songs, their synchronized steps, their red-bordered cotton sarees, the flowers in their hair and the traditional tribal ornaments were oh-so-fabulous. Many of the ladies of the household including the bride joined hands with the dancers much akin to Mamata Shankar in Agantuk. It was such a splendid Kodak moment. :-)

The second "more Western" reception was in Kolkata. The venue was awesome. It was at the army territorial headquarters in Kolkata. It was air-conditioned. It had a huge garden which was deliciously decorated. And to everyone’s relief, there was a pleasant southerly breeze which was blowing. This was by far the best reception that I have ever attended.

So ended, the wedding trip to Kolkata. Amidst all the heat and discomfort, I had a deliciously fabulous time over the ten days. The wedding itself was divine and it’s memory is going to stay fresh for a long time to come. I was back in Mumbai before my folks returned because I was supposed to join office at Pune. Even as I was returning to Pune, I was going through the photos that I had clicked. The photos covered every single ceremony that happens in a Bengali wedding. I proudly shared the link to the Picasa album with my office folks. Most of them were seeing photos of a traditional Bengali wedding for the first time. I think what amused (or in some cases shocked) them the most was the sheer enormity of the fish head (“machher muro”) that is served to the bride on the day of the “Bou bhaat” over lunch. Many of my colleagues giggled when they saw the snap and asked me, “how on earth is she supposed to eat something as big as that?” I told them that it is just a custom and the bride just takes a few bites of it. Hopefully that convinced them. J I also hoped that the photos cleared many of the misconceptions that non-Bongs have about Bengali culture / weddings especially after seeing “that mockery of Bong culture” otherwise known as SLB’s Devdas.

I remember one particularly funny incident that happened the night before “Bou bhaat”. I will talk about that in my next post. :-)