Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Of friends in 'Pardes'

I have tried hard to reach out and make some local friends here in Denver ever since I landed here in May 2009. I have created profiles on Adam4Adam, Manhunt and other US equivalents of Planet Romeo. I have even tried posting ads on the uber-famous Craigslist asking for friends. The efforts, though temporarily fruitful have not succeeded in the long run. I had got a few replies and even met a couple of people during my initial days in Denver. But within a few weeks, these folks disappeared into thin air. No amount of calls, emails or voice mails compelled any of them to give me a call back. The only people who lingered were a couple of 'desi' guys whom I had known from before. Anyway, this experience with the local guys didn't really encourage me to try and again reach out to them. I had been to a few local gay clubs but soon found out that if you are from an ethnic minority, the local people either treat you as an alien or 'exotic'. I didn't wish to be treated as either. Apparently, the gay fauna in cities like NYC, LA, SFO and other big cities is a tad better. However, as luck would have it, I am at neither of these places. :-(

After months of procrastinating the thought of actually finding some friends, albeit 'desi', here in US, I finally floated an email on one of the Yahoo groups that I am a member of, a couple of weeks ago. Ever since then, I have received a steady stream of replies, some from USA and some even from Britain and India. It has been good so far and most of the replies have been quite sensible, not the usual 'my stats, your stats' kind of email. There are a couple of guys from California, one person from New York and one person from North Carolina. They are all desis and probably that is why, I have been able to connect to them rather effortlessly. We may be from different Indian ethnicities, but the underlying fact that all of us are 'desis' at the end of the day, binds us in some kind of an unseen bond.

It's been a pleasure talking to them on phone or on chat. I have planned a trip to Los Angeles to meet one of them during Thanksgiving and later, during New Year, I may even drop into New York to meet the New Yorker. I am hoping that finally I will finally have a good friend circle here in 'Pardes' as well. :-) Wish me luck!


ksitij said...

You can contact me here.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jeet,
rather late reply but I know what you mean. I lived on the east coast in the US and had 3 local gay friends in 2+ years!

but here in Canada I have tons of local friends from diff ethnicities to hang out, do stuff together and sometimes turn into dates or the casual stuff vice-versa.

Casual fun with sane fun guys could be another way to make friends if you both stayed on afterwards and exchanged information and enjoyed a conversation.
Gay.com chat is good for meeting or talking to like minded people with or ithour sx on mind. Just go without an agenda and have fun!

From my ex you dont meet friends in the bars .. thats a totally diff story:)