Saturday, October 02, 2010

Is there an end to this madness?

I have been thinking about coming back to the blogosphere for quite some time now. After I came to USA, honestly, I have been either too busy or simply too lethargic to take to the virtual pen again! Anyway, being in the USA for a little over a year now, I have been constantly amazed by how this nation works. It is by no means an overstatement if I say that the oldest democracy in the world through innumerable sacrifices, mistakes, determination and sheer hard work has achieved its rightful place in the modern world where it is today.

Now, let me bring to you another picture. I am from the biggest democracy in the world - India - a land which traces its history to beyond 5000 years (at least historically). India has endured in its past several challenges and yet has managed to somehow preserve its culture and its globally accepted plural character. Not going into any controversy, not going into any long drawn effort to prove or disprove its plural character, I just have few questions to all fellow Indians who may be reading this. I by no means claim to be a historian or even an intellectual but still I feel compelled to give words to my thoughts as they bother me everyday.

India is a country of over 1.2 billion people - majority Hindus (or one of its bewildering number of sects) followed by the minorities Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Jains, Buddhists and others. Probably everyone knows the history by which we achieved independence from our colonial masters mostly through non-violent means. Yet, the price that we paid for that independence by virtue of partition continues to haunt us even today - viz. the complex socio-political Hindu-Muslim equation. Whereas it can be said that the two communities have lived peacefully in this ancient land since millenia, it cannot also be denied that their entire co-existence in modern India has been punctuated by unfortunate (sometimes religiously and sometimes politically motivated) events which have left a bad taste in everyone's mouth. No one can disregard the horrendous carnages that took place during the partition or the subsequent riots that have taken place at various times in the last 63 years. However, even after all of this blood spill and mayhem, India has managed to survive. This is because of the good sense that prevails amongst the majority of the population irrespective of religion. You may be wondering why I am suddenly writing about this issue out of the blue. The reason - the recent Ayodhya verdict. While I accept the verdict with all humility, I am skeptical of the far reaching effects that this verdict may have on our nation.

I am a Hindu. I go to temples (on occasions), ponder over the great spiritual discourses that are hidden in the Gita, love the fascinating stories of Ramayana and Mahabharata and by the way I do believe that they are true historical events, do the occasional teerth yatra, enjoy the Pujas (more so maybe because I belong to Kolkata and Durga Puja is not merely a religious festival, it is a cultural festival as well). Still, I am not satisfied with what the verdict has been even though I agree that this middle path may be the least objectionable one. Mind you, I am not saying 'acceptable to everyone'. Let me elaborate further.

The court case that was decided upon is merely a case to decide who owns the title of the land and as we all know that case has been going on for the last six decades. Even though the case may be to simply decide on the title suit, the emotions involved with it are by no means simplistic. Since two religions are involved, it has more or less become a test of pride for at least a section of both Hindus and Muslims. Theories and counter-theories, proofs and counter-proofs have apparently been presented to the court to decide on this matter. Both the parties claim to have evidence which proves their unequivocal right over the land. The case is also complicated by bringing in the fact that certain Hindu right wing groups and parties have used this issue to garner support amongst the population by claiming to be the protector of 'Dharma' or by advocating the correction of historical wrong-doings of Islamic invaders and rulers (viz. demolition of various temples) at various times in Indian history. Similary, some Muslim clerics and groups have tried to portray this suit as another proof that a Hindu India is trying to subjugate the Muslims. Add to this, the absolutely deplorable act of razing the Babri Mosque (while the title suit was still in the court) and you have a potential mixture for a time bomb that is ticking away. This time bomb can however be defused before its horrific consequences unfold only if, we as Indians show the courage, prudence and maturity to do so. Religious beliefs and historical facts are open to interpretation but we cannot turn a blind eye to the events of that particular day in December of 1992 when 'secular' India was challenged more than ever before. That happened right before our own eyes (I was 12 at that time) and we all know what the aftermath was. Thousands were butchered and yet the same people who planned this macabre act are allowed to flourish and continue to rule the roost. This is absolutely pathetic. After the events of 1992-93, the civil suit for the land became intertwined with the criminal suit of the demolition. These can no longer be seen as not inter-related. I am now stating something potentially controversial - The verdict would have made much more sense if the Mosque had still stood in its place and the court had given this ruling. Because in that case, if the litigating parties had accepted this verdict, the re-structuring of the disputed land as suggested by the 1/3rd formula would have had legal sanction and general approval of the parties in concern and the public in general. However, this scenario seems very unlikely. Even if the Mosque would not have been demolished, I am sure the two parties would have moved the Supreme Court because of the 'Pride' factor.

But, since the Mosque was demolished, this verdict seems to send out a signal that the demolition has indirectly been vindicated. This is because, as I stated earlier, had the mosque existed even today and the contending parties had accepted this verdict as final, the demolition / restructuring would have happened anyway. The verdict apparently uses 'belief' as a parameter in determining where Ram was born thereby awarding a portion of the said land to the Hindus. Many legal experts have raised questions on this aspect. I am not aware of the law or legality of the verdict but I can understand that if belief is the cornerstone in a certain case then that sets a dangerous precedence in the long run. One day, suddenly you'll find people filing civil suits against each other simply because they 'believe' in something which may be contrary to what the opposing party 'believes' in.

The verdict is going to be challenged in the Supreme court by both the parties so that they can gain complete control of the land and not 1/3rd as prescribed by the High court. Probably another 60 years would have passed before that verdict is delivered but in the meantime can we at least punish those people with exemplary punishment who instigated the mobs to bring down the Mosque? Can they be made accountable for their actions? If law is supposed to be above everyone else, can they be made to kneel in front of it and ask for forgiveness?

Those who sympathize or support these leaders - I have a question for you. Five hundred years ago, when the temple was demolished for the mosque, if you had the power to convict Babur / his general would you not have done so? Would you not have singed your teeth in anger if you had seen your beloved grand temple being razed to the ground? Probably yes. Would you be able to do something? Probably not. Because at that time you could do nothing even if you wanted to. That was medieval feudal India. But fortunately, this is 'new' India - a phrase that seems to be the hot favorite on TV these days. The demolition happened in our life time and now we do have the power (via the law) to correct this wrong-doing. We need to do that. I hope we can at least do that. We urgently need to mobilize public support to push for the early and just conviction of those people who challenged the very fundamental principles on the basis of which this republic was established. Let this not be another case in the proverbial 'slow cooker' in which by the time the verdict comes, most of the accused are either infirm or dead. An early conviction of all the accused will be the best thing that we as a nation can strive for. That will rebuild the trust deficit between the communities an overwhelming majority of whom just want to carry on with their normal lives without looking at each other through a prism of suspicion. Let historical wrongs not dictate our present polity anymore. Twenty first century India cannot be held hostage to the demolition of a temple in sixteenth century India.

I don't know what the Supreme court will decide or who will get the final title deed. But I believe that peaceful co-existence needs to be driven so deep in our collective psyche that no matter what happens we always stay united and together. I have faith in our judiciary which has shown exceptional courage and farsightedness in many past judgments that it will consider all the issues impartially, based on evidential proof and legally before arriving at a conclusion. If you ask me, I personally think that we would do our nation a great service if we build a hospital or some other such public institution at the site which is beneficial to one and all. On the other hand, if we have to build a temple and a mosque side by side at that site, then let us make sure that the bricks used in the construction of those structures bear the names of all those unfortunate Hindus and Muslims who perished in the communal riots in 1992-93. Let there be a 'Kar Seva' by the families of those who were killed. Let the Muslim families contribute and toil in building a modest temple and let the Hindu families do likewise in building the mosque. In between the two structures let there be a plaque with the pledge that we will not be divided any further.

I started by saying that I admire America for many reasons. One reason is that the site of the World Trade Center is being rebuilt even to this day and even after recent controversies it will still have the names of all the people (of all religions) who died in the horrific 9/11 attacks. It will be a reminder to all American people and to the world to strive to live in harmony.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Denver's fabulous!

Yes, it finally happened. After waiting for a ridiculously long time, I set my foot on Amreeka'n soil on 10th May 2009. The place is Denver, Colorado also called the Mile High City. It gets such a name because it is roughly a mile high above mean sea level. :) It's got the Rocky Mountains towards the west and from what I have seen, some of the higher peaks are still covered with snow in May, :) and apparently its summer time here. :D

I am here for work basically and so far it's been quite ok. The team I am working with is good and they are really sweet and helpful. I am put up with a colleague but I would probably move into my own studio apartment by August. One of the things that I find really unique about this place is the weather. Some of the days it gets really hot even to the point of sweating it out - like 30C and some days it gets cold with the maximum being just about 15C. :) The people are friendly and they smile at you even though you are a complete stranger to them. Like just today, I was waiting at this bus stop and there was a really cute guy sitting next to me and he started a conversation - asking me my name, where I was from, what do I do and likes. He was really cute and had blue eyes, and a whole lot of piercings. One of the piercings was on his lower lip. Ouch, that must have hurt, I thought to myself when I saw it. But he was really sweet, I even suspected he could be gay coz he appreciated my eyes. :P

Anyway, somebody I know in the US had told me about this classified ad portal called 'Craiglist'. I honestly do want to have friends here out of my work place coz it gets a tad boring to hang out with your colleagues all the while especially when they are married or straight and all they can talk about is either baseball, basketball or women. :P I seriously do want to have a set of gay friends here whom I could hang out with, go out to dinner with, go out shopping, or maybe head out to the nearest gay bar and dance the night away. And it seems to me that I have found some really great people.

I put an ad in Craiglist asking for purely platonic friends and got three responses so far. One of them was an Indian - Tamil guy to be precise called Arun. He is a really sweet guy and although he is married, he is still very much into the gay scene. I met him last weekend and he told me a lot about the gay scene in Denver - like the bars, the clubs, the bathhouses and the likes. He told me pretty interesting anecdotes about his 4 years in Denver.

The second guy's name is Greg. He is a nice guy too, probably in his mid thirties. Likes to talk a lot. I met him yesterday and we drove to a gay bar called JR. It's a cute little place near Downtown and it's a very comfortable environment. We spent roughly two hours there and he was telling me about his life, his family, his work and everything in between. We had a good time together and he was sweet enough to drop me home as well.

The third guy's name is Nathan, though he likes to be called Nate. I met him at a mall today evening. He is a really amazing guy and I had a great time with him. We went to a coffee shop at first and then drove around for some time before coming to JR. He introduced me to his good friend Steve. We talked a lot about his life, my life, about India, about food, about dance, about pets, about his relationship, about my crushes. It felt really nice to be with him and every now and then he would ask me if I was comfortable. I think that was really sweet of him. We decided to meet up again soon midweek probably for dinner and then over the coming weekend when his sister would join us too for something fun - maybe hitting one of the dance bars. :)

So, it's been good so far and I really hope that they find me worth their friendship coz I really need them to be around. I am looking forward to hanging out with these guys more and more so that I get to know them better and eventually be great friends with them.

I also decided to explore the city on my own. So, I also took my first suburban train from Downtown to Lincoln and back where I live. It was a fabulous experience. Its really amazing how well connected the different parts of the city are and you can practically reach anywhere without any hassle. As you begin to leave the main town for the suburbs the scenery changes and its all mountains and green meadows all around. It looks awesome. :)

Tomorrow, I am going out with colleagues to the nearby mountains. There are two places that we are going to - Caves of the Winds and Garden of the Gods. I am really excited about that, can't wait to take some fab photos and post them online. This will be my first trip in the US. :)

When I was taking the flight to US from India, I was kinda sad coz I was leaving all my friends and family back there. But now, I think it'll be a good experience for me and it'll help me in my growth as a person. After all, life is all about learning new things and making new friends.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I wanna do him!

I have a bad habit! :-) Whenever I see a cute guy, say while walking on the street or even in my office for that matter, I immediately try to mentally strip him down and have my way with him. I wish, if only I could make out with at least 99% of them! Wow, just imagine that hottie I see everyday, in his bikini brief, staring at me with his piercing eyes, almost waiting to pounce on me....I'm not even gonna finish that sentence! I'm just gonna have a happy party in my head.

I was talking to this guy the other who is working in the same firm as I am. Presently he is posted in the US. He told me the only reason that he hasn't contemplated leaving the company for greener pastures is because, our company supposedly has the best eye candy! Now, that's a unique reason, ain't it? So, you see, I have every reason to believe that I am i good company!

There are actually about half a dozen guys (some in my office and some chat friends) who are on my to-do list. I don't really know them personally or havn't met them. Yet, when I bump into them at office, sly glances are exchanged and sometimes smiles too. While chatting online with the rest, I just imagine myself to be with them and have a happy party in my head!

So, here's my to-do list for you all. :-)

1. There is this really good looking guy in my office who is a stunner in all respects. Tall, well shaped, impeccably well dressed and a killer smile. Every time I see him, I go weak in my knees. I would love to be in his arms. Sometimes I wish, if only I could just fake a fall from the stairs when he would be around and he would rush to hold me in his arms! Wow, wouldn't that just be awesome?

2. There is another one in my office, who has droopy eyes and a lean frame, almost seems that he is hungry to make love - that one is the second in my to-do list. He seems to be a little hairy but seems really well endowed! I caught a glimpse of his thing in the rest room once. LOL.

3. The third one is also from my work place. He is cute-as-hell, with long eyelashes, a dazzling smile and an utterly delicious behind! There have been so many instances where he has caught me staring at him and I have turned crimson red!

4. The fourth one is a guy from Goregaon. He has been away from Mumbai for some time now because of an assignment in Bangalore. He is hot as hell and apart from that he is a gem of a person too!

5. The fifth one is a Punjabi guy from Chembur. I came across him just a few days ago accidentally and we have had quite a few chat sessions ever since. He is totally my kinda guy. Good looking, adventurous, level headed, smooth talker and is passionate about sex. :-) Hope to meet him soon.

6. The sixth one is a guy from Mahim. He has a killer body. I would so like to melt away in his arms even if it just for once.

There are a few more but I think they have become rather insignificant with time. I so wish that my to-do list translates into some real action soon! The guys from office, well, could be beyond my reach but I surely want to make it really special for the other three.Let me keep my fingers crossed! :-)

Monday, February 02, 2009

I wish to be reborn...

I wish to be reborn...
As a 'normal' guy,
Perhaps, life would be a lot easier.
And not so dry.

They say I'm abnormal.
I wonder, am I?
Why does it matter to me?
Why does it make me cry?

Why do I care so much...
About what the world says?
Why is it so hard to find...
The nights of my endless days?

Why am I born this way?
Is it a curse that haunts me?
Is it a bane of a misdeed?
Or a way in which life taunts me?

I've heard love exists everywhere.
Then, why is it hard to find?
Is it because I am not worth it,
Or because I am simply blind?

They say 'our' life is unnatural,
It would lead us nowhere.
It's a story of looks and lust,
Of loneliness and despair.

I've still not found love,
Not found the ONE.
Yet, I've not given up,
My work's still not done.

They tell me to get married,
To some hapless poor girl.
Why, on earth should I do that,
And let myself ruin her world?

Yet, I don't have the courage
To live lonely till I die,
Perhaps, I have to become a ruthless man
And cover up the truth with a lie.

I pray to God to show me the way,
So that I don't hurt anyone.
But more so, I pray for myself,
So that I can find that someone.

I don't have much time in hand,
To decide what's good for me.
A lie, a compromise, a dual life?
Or a life of love forever to be?

Even if I find love,
How do I know it'll stay forever?
Maybe it'll wither away too
Just like a bunch of roses together.

Oh lord, make me find my love
And make it last till I die,
Give me the wisdom and the courage
To make it worth the try.

I give myself this chance,
To try and find a reason to live,
Before I resign to destiny,
Let me spend as much love as I can give.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Pass on the flame...

As a child, I remember that I used to sit quietly and watch my granny do the daily puja in the “Pujor Ghor” every morning. She would chant holy prayers, decorate the images and idols with flowers and garlands and apply sandalwood paste on them. She would then bathe the Shiv Ling with water and milk. She would then do a small ‘aarti’ and finally blow the conch shell to signal the end of the ritual. This was the routine every morning. It used to take about an hour and half to complete the pujo!

It was from that time that I seemed to be drawn towards spirituality and our holy books. I used to buy small images of various gods and goddesses and keep them with me. I also got to read the Puranas, the Ramayana and the Mahabharat during the summer holidays. Upendrakishore Roychowdhury, the grandfather of legendary film maker Satyajit Ray has written wonderful books for children which contain detailed accounts from all the holy scriptures. They were written for children, yet they were fantastically detailed and used to fill me with an ethereal sense of happiness and profound knowledge.

I read through Ramayana and Mahabharat almost one after the other. In fact, I was reading the Mahabharat while the television series was still being telecast. But somehow, even at that small age, I found Mahabharat enormously more interesting than Ramayana.

Ramayana is a good story nevertheless, it has a lot to teach us but somehow I didn’t find the character of Rama to be as glorious as it is portrayed. I somehow couldn’t digest the way Rama treated Seeta and sent her away to the forest just to allay doubts of a lone washer man about her chastity and character. Though, many pundits have come up with remarkable explanations for this act, I still do not find any semblance of logic behind such a harsh step. Another incident which raises questions in my mind is the time when Seeta after being rescued from Ravana is asked by Rama to step into the holy pyre to prove her chastity. I somehow couldn’t and probably still can’t find any reason behind these acts of Rama.

An interesting story that I had learnt later was that before leaving for Panchavati, Rama had asked the Fire God, Agni to keep the ‘original’ Seeta under his protection. The 'Seeta' who went with Rama and Lakshman to the forest was just a ‘reflection’ of the original Seeta. So, when ‘this’ Seeta was rescued from the evil Ravana, through the holy pyre, the Fire God merely returned the original Seeta back to Rama. Nice story! But somehow it seems that it has only been cooked up only to prove that Rama could never do anything wrong to anyone. I am not saying that Rama does not deserve to be called great, I only wish that he could have been a little more human and not so 'divine'.

Getting to Mahabharat, the story is a marvelous piece. It has dealt with every human emotion in a way that no other book has, or ever will. Right from the marriage of King Shantanu to Ganga to Yudhisthir’s entry into heaven, the story is a fantastic tapestry of happiness, sorrow, success, defeat, avarice, enmity, envy and most importantly eternal knowledge. Knowledge - which is so profound that it remains relevant to this very day even after thousands of years. When I read the story for the first time, I was fascinated to know that the writer Ved Vyas himself is part of the story. He makes several appearances throughout the entire narrative – the most important aspect being that he is the biological father of Dhritarashtra and Pandu, whose sons the Kauravas and the Pandavas fought each other in the bloody battle of Kurukshetra. He makes an appearance once again much later and warns Draupadi to ‘take care’ of her hair as a subtle warning of her impending disrobing in the Kuru Sabha!

There are so many characters and incidents to talk about from the Mahabharat but the few characters that have had a lasting impact on me are Draupadi, Arjuna and Krsna!

Draupadi is perhaps the only woman in Indian mythology who chose to live life by her own standards and refused to be treated as an object. When she is dragged to court in order to be humiliated, she questions each of her five husbands about her plight. None of them can answer her questions. She takes a vow not to tie her hair unless the blood of Dushyasan is brought to her to wash off her humiliation. Draupadi is fiery, she is the epitome of womanhood. She proves her fiery nature when she asks Bheem to kill Keechak, the brother-in-law of the King of Viraat, for being lusty towards her. She proves that it is a woman who can either make or break a family, an entire race or a community. She proves without a shred of doubt that societies or people who do not respect women as equals are doomed for utter destruction.

The unique chemistry between Arjuna and Krsna is delightful. They are friends and yet Arjuna regards Krsna as his Guru. When Arjuna’s mind is restless just before the great war, he asks Krsna for guidance and thereby we receive from Krsna the teachings of Geeta! Geeta is not just a book, it is a way of life. It exhorts every human being to strive to be free from 'Maya' - the all pervading film of foolish emotions which baffles us everyday, to regard happiness and sorrow with the same feelings, to believe that death is inevitable and that it is not the end but a new beginning, to believe in doing one's own Karma and not to worry about the results, to strive to achieve salvation and getting rid of the cycles of birth, misery and death. It's a wonderful song that gives us enough to ponder and act on for the rest of our lives.

There are many small stories and parables in Mahabharat from which we can learn a lot. I sometimes feel very glad and proud that we as a generation have grown up seeing the Ramayana and the Mahabharat on TV. We may not know the inherent meaning of everything in the great epics but at least we do know the stories themselves. I do feel pity for the children of today. They are perpetually surrounded by computers and gadgets and are gradually turning into mechanized beings. They would probably never get to know about these wonderful stories from our past in as much detail or with as much attention as we did. Who could have ever imagined that kids of today would have to learn about HanuMan through a cartoon? And for many of them, he is not even a form of God anymore, he is just a superhero like SpiderMan or SuperMan. :-) But I guess, times have changed a lot. Kids have so many options for entertainment now that we cannot expect them to sit through over 100 episodes of Ramayana and Mahabharat. May be cartoons are the only way out! I just wish that the young parents of today would at least find some time in educating their kids by telling them stories from these wonderful epics from time to time. Maybe that's how our scriptures will pass on to the coming generations and fill their lives with eternal knowledge and bliss.