The Bong Konnection!

My experience with the Bengali male has been a tad disappointing! Even though I spent a good part of my growing up years in Kolkata, I never really fancied any Bengali guy! There was one exception though! His name was Adhiraj and he was undoubtedly the hunkiest Bengali guy in the school. He was my first serious crush! Even though we became good friends, I could never tell him how I exactly felt about him! Sigh...!!!

Somehow, over the years I have grown to believe that due to some divine intervention Bengalis do not exactly fit the bill of the stereotypical gay! Come on, after all 'we' hail from the land of men like Tagore and it doesn't really befit 'us' to act like normal 'gays' who lust and crave for flesh! :-) 'We' simply have a superiority complex. And that applies to every Bengali, whether gay or straight, whether man or woman!! That's why you would find fellow Bengalis sticking to each other in even the remotest corners of the planet!

During my days in Kolkata, I used to closely observe the Bengali boys! While most other boys (read non-Bengali boys) used to freak out and have loads of fun, our Bengali boy would religiously oil his hair everyday. Then he would comb it until his hair was so glued to his head that even a hurricane couldn't ruffle it. He would then have a sumptuous lunch of 'Maachh Bhaat' and then trudge to school. His mother would arrive in the evening to pick him up from school and drop him to tuition classes and at the end of the day the son, the father and the mother would all sleep happily ever after...This image was so common that it remains etched in my memory to this day. Mothers running after their sons and daughters 24x7, feeding them while the son/ daughter diligently revises his/ her lessons before the 'porikkha', dropping off the kid at the exam centre with the complete entourage of Baba, Ma, Bhaai, Bon, Pishi, Mashi, Mesho, Mama, Kaka, Kakima, Dadu, Dida and even the family pet! Thankfully, the author of this blog was a notable exception! :-)

Therefore it used to be a pleasant surprise to see a Bengali boy who was none of this!! But then their numbers remain dismally low even to this day. Kolkata is therefore definitely not the best place to find guys! During my last few years in Kolkata, I got introduced to a few guys here and there! Through them I came to know that Minto Park and Nandan in Central Kolkata were the gay hang outs! I visited this place a few times either alone or with them but I am sorry to say that no one really appealed to me! It was a hangout for a bunch of fairies who would squeal in orgasmic delight at every passing cute guy! The only people I ever connected to well, while in Kolkata were visitors either from Delhi or Mumbai.

Even when the modelling and movie industries are abuzz with a bevy of so-called Bengali bombshells like Sushmita, Rani, Bipasha, Konkona or the lesser known Koena or Tanushree, the Bong men have never quite commanded a second look from anyone! Bengali men have always been known as the intellectual or communist kinds who couldn't care any less about the way they look or dress! They would rather yell at the top of their voices under the scorching sun about the injustices of the 'kendriyo shorkaar' but never care to do the human race a favor by wearing a deoderant! To expect such men to be even remotely gay would be a nightmare that would last till Doomsday!

Even though Kolkata prides itself on being able to organize gay pride marches every year, it desperately needs a crash course in what it means to be gay! Being gay is not merely about walking down the streets in drag and yelling for gay rights! Darlings, you guys are just reinforcing the stereotypes!!! It's a lot more than that! Guys from Delhi, Mumbai, Bengalooru or even Pune can definitely teach these guys a thing or two.

Everytime I have been to Kolkata in the past few years, I have met people. But strangely none of them originally belong to Kolkata! Like, last time I met this guy Charles who was indeed born and brought up in Kolkata but had Malayali roots! I guess that made him more desirable to me! I met another fella called Bobby who was a Bengali but then he had never been in Kolkata for more than a month at a stretch! He had been brought up in the States! I haven't really come across too many desirable Bengali chaps in Kolkata! Of course, exceptions do exist like Debjyoti or Swapnoneel who can undoubtedly be regarded as the best that Bongs can ever be!

I have met Bengalis in Mumbai and in Pune. But strangely, they have never really lingered beyond a few meetings or ..... A notable exception has been one guy who although born and brought up in Bengal has UP roots! However he himself feels like a Bong! :-) He has been a great friend for quite some time! I really cherish the time we have spent together. If somebody asks me whom would I consider to be desirable, I would reply guys from Delhi / Mumbai / Bengalooru top the list! Punjabis, Gujjus, Catholics, Mallus and now Maharashtrians have always done me in a way that no 'real' Bengali ever has or ever will!

But hopefully, things will change for the better now. With a host of IT and BPO companies setting up their centres in Kolkata and a large population of migrants from different corners of India, the gay scene in Kolkata can be expected to receive a much needed overhaul. Even though Bengalis still form a major chunk of the population in Kolkata, the Bengali gay population is still by and large unpalatable! :-) That's why it's no surprise to find cute looking hunks from Bombay or Delhi who stay in Salt Lake or Camac Street searching fervently and desperately for some 'do'able men on Manjam or Guys4Men. I happened to chat with one such guy called Rohit a few days back! After a brief chat with him, I realized that the IT and Call Centre boom in Kolkata has thankfully aided its gay fauna - we now have cute men from Delhi, Gurgaon, Bombay, Hyderabad and Bangalore in the City of Joy, all trying their very best to spread some gay cheer.

Keep up the good work guys! Kolkata desperately needs you. :-)